I don’t use Facebook a lot on a personal basis, mostly for getting my message out and as a mode of communication for my clients, but I still see my news feed almost every day, and know the types of posts that flow by.
Social media isn’t the problem
It’s totally fine to be proud of your accomplishments and there is nothing wrong with wanting to share your success on social media. The problem comes in when you start to measure how much ‘success’ you are having compared to the next person.
Comparision is the problem
Comparison is one of the most deadly things you can do to undermine your confidence, and Facebook unfortunately is one of the most powerful comparison tools around.
You might start to feel inadequate next to the results your friend or competitor is posting. You might feel incredible amounts of stress or pressure. Perhaps you feel like you aren’t doing enough and your confidence with it. You start to lose the fun. Most importantly, you tend to lose focus on your own journey.
It’s all a reality show, but it’s not all real
The irony is, no matter how good or successful someone’s life seems to be according to Facebook, the story can be quite different behind the scenes. So not only is your confidence being shaken, you might be basing your comparison on a mirage! Part of feeling confident is feeling in control, and that means you need to focus on the things you can control, which is your own thoughts and actions.
Tips for dealing with social media comparison
When it comes to social media undermining your confidence, here are some suggestions:
- put a sticky note on your computer that says “I do not compare myself to others, I am on my own journey”
- narrow your news feed to your close friends who you can be honestly happy for
- use a Facebook page or group for specific types of communication
- set up a reminder on your phone to go off every day to remind yourself that you don’t compare yourself to others on social media
- balance your posts to send out messages to support and give to others, as well as posts of your own success
- limit your time on social media and go practice instead
- learn to ‘detach’ your emotions like in a movie when you say to yourself “it’s just a movie, its not real”
I’d love to hear your suggestions for dealing with comparing yourself to others on social media.
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