It’s amazing how often we hide behind our stories. Many times we need to learn the same lesson over and over in different areas of our lives before we truly internalize them. That’s why a good coach won’t let you lie to yourself. She will call your bluff.
A wake-up call
I was at my piano lesson the other day, and my teacher/coach told me to sing along with the song I was working on. I laughed at him and said, “I can’t sing…well maybe after a couple glasses of wine I’ll have a go, but that’s it!”
He gave me a hard look and said, “You can’t sing because you don’t sing. I want you to belt it out! It will help you understand how it all fits together.”
I had to smile because it was the same advice I would give to someone else who was hesitating. In a sport setting, where my confidence is high, I’d be happy to bulldoze forward. Yet here I was facing the same lesson in another venue, where my confidence is lower.
Why not apply the same lessons everywhere?
So why, even though I “know” the right answer, was I not applying it? Because I was happy and safe in my story and that story was holding me back.
I have learned to tolerate failure in the sport setting, and have internalized the concept that it is simply a part of the learning process. But in the area of music, it took my teacher calling my bluff to make me realize I was scared of failure, of humiliation, of not being good enough.
The right instructor
Previous teachers, not wanting to step on my toes, hadn’t pushed me. They were basically babysitting me through my lessons. This teacher is willing to push, yet is respectful. So although it’s uncomfortable, I’m excited to move forward. I’ve found the right teacher for me.
Which is why in anything I do, I try to find instructors who will call my bluffs and challenge my stories when my stories are hindering me. It’s not always comfortable to take a hard look at myself, but I don’t want to be comfortable. I want to improve.
What stories and excuses are you hiding behind right now? What lessons do you already know that you can apply in other areas? Are you willing to be pushed, to be uncomfortable? If you have an instructor who pushes you appropriately, be grateful and make sure to validate them and say thank-you, because they are hard to find.
I’ll be opening the Winner’s Circle again soon, where you will learn to be mentally tough, confident and focused. Make sure you are signed up for my free confidence course and weekly articles, and I’ll let you know when the Winner’s Circle opens, as well as give you some additional free training. Sign up HERE.
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